POSTED IN School, grades, problems with my parents, my parents are way-strict. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. I can't even have a sleepover. There is an old saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. she shuts out my emotions. It's a lot. Im 16 and i have an incredibly stressful life 6am - 10 or 12pm everyday. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. Children are still developing and they require a lot of positive attention and care, comparing them to others is not the correct way to go about it. My parent (s) do support my learning, my mom especially . I know it does because I see how everyone else gets treated. I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? Then she launched into a story about one father who recently planted himself in her classroom during one of her lesson planning periods to complain about his son's mediocre grades. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), h mama(@tzomama), 11/08/21(@lostwithmarshy), ewww(@skinkycaca), my name is lani(@secretaccountt140), miles buchart(@milesnueman), DONT CALL ME CUTE I BEG U(@albedo_realwife), dump(@potatongina_00), Idk 2.0(@user266279192), cosmic (@if.ur.sad . If the child believes that they are stupid because they are a C student, they will become a low achiever throughout life, no matter what their human potential is. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! It is FREE! When Can My Teenager Go On A Vacation Without Me? Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. He thought I was just a real close friend of the family! I cried as I was scrolling through this article. I'd keep trying until I die. For more on Carol Weston, visit her website:carolweston.comor like herFacebook page. You should either discuss this matter w/a trusted relative. This all rings so true. It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. Dad is happy to just follow on a stronger mom simply because it absolves him of the responsibility. What your mother is doing to you is beyond horrific. I already told God and I know he's already helping me. Part of the gym is a mental component, I don't think I'd be able to do this any other way. quick info, i am autistic and i cannot work under pressure. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. I'm unfortunately still with my family. I know how bad it hurt when they did it to me. I can remember my grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me during math. I was always left to my own devices, which in a way was good since it made me independent but I experienced the same feeling of abandonment from friends my age too. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Fortunately I have a wonderful mother (who is also criticized by my dad all the time). They care about your grades because they want a good future for you. Every time I expressed an opinion I was ridiculed by the whole family. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. WOW!! They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. But for me I can't keep up with that and my average is an 85% which is not the best. Guess! But when I get told that and try to do what I want I get a "No John, that's a terrible idea." I am stuck, I am frustrated. Family doesn't mean blood all the time. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. My mother has always treated me as an idiot. How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. And yet I'd be. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. Question: Why do my parents always compare me to my sister? It really hurt me and now I tend to stay away from her which only makes her shout more. If you make it, who knows. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. Her parents were lazy, uneducated, and short-sighted. Help! No one to turn to. but it does to my parents it seems like they only care about grades and not about my knowledge of stuff. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. Never picking the right man? I bombed the second time around, nerves. now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. Please talk to a trusted relative. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. After the third meeting I was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they go. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. Please, help me. Thanks. Your father is abusive & his behavior is inexcusable. Not only will your parents be pleased, but youll feel good about it too. Everything I wear, the way I look (hereditary), my choice of friends, my interests and hobbies are just wrong according to her and deserving of condemnation. Shes caused me to have depression and take part in self harm. Might it help if you got a math tutor? I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. my daughter is driving me crazy with her sudden attitude change, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Why Don't my parents understand me at all time, I dont really hangout with people anymore caused its either they blow me off or never reply my texts, Suicidal thoughts/alone/forced to do good in school/Idk if I have a problem. At-home entertainment ideas for women about to give birth, Educate your teenager about internet safety, Top ten questions for your doctor or midwife, Prenatal care - talking to your OB about pregnancy symptoms. Preach a positive mental approach to dealing with failures and mistakes. My mom is not as bad as my dad. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. its just too much, i cant go on living like this and i get frequent suicidal thoughts. But when I was on the baseball team my dad was manager my mom team mom. Are good grades more important than being nice? Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Why? One day, you'll understand. Both my parents preferred me to work in any job, while I desperately tried to work out how to go beyond that; nobody in our extended family has a degree. If they do not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they might have. I checked off about 7-8 ways I've been hurt. Also, disassociate from your family. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. Demeaning and comparison by parents is so much that most of the kids starts doing what others are doing rather then choosing their own profession. i cant stand my parents anymore please help me im going crazy, Somewhat the opposite to Andrew but ultimately similar. by | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser It didn't work - I am in my 40s and she still tells me I am too weak and a disappointment - but it was her way of showing us love and, besides it is a fair criticism so I don't take offence. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? i got to grow up way faster that anyone, i didn't really experience being a child and as for putting people over family, for the longest of time I've felt like i didn't have a family. Please get help. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. You feel that whatever your sibling does for good or bad, you feel somehow that you are responsible for your sibling's actions when such isn't necessarily the case. for the childish thing, yes i am childish but can you really blame me? over a year ago. "He just kept saying over and over: 'In our family, that's not acceptable.' I didn't know what to say to him. Meantime, I performed exceptionally at primary school, but my mother said it was only because I had dumb kids in my year. is responded to with "when will you get an A in math?". Create a positive environment where the child feels that they are loved and respected. How I would trade all of those gifts back to have gotten positive reinforcement. I am ok looking. Give them help if they need it and don't put undue pressure on them to get good grades at all costs. Ooof, I'm 26 and this read like the story of my life. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. Many parents refuse to acknowledge this. These parents contend that they own their offspring. now i am grown i wonder how can you do that to someone you love talkless your own Child - The Other Day my own father asked me WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE , Talking about my first girlfriend and how i failed - What do you think you have achieved !! only school and then home. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. These people are firm believers that their offspring should be carbon copies of them with similar characteristics, interests, and goals. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 14, 2018: DON'T KILL yourself. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com I'm lucky to have her. Unless your child is incapacitated (heaven forbid), this is not okay. However, this has the opposite effect and gives the child a permanently poor body and self-image. The hazing at Scouts, Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane. But it's not enough for them!!! While physical appearance is important, it isn't important as to what is internal. Its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive. I don't believe in retiring from a passion. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. He obviously loves you. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. Also the anti depressants changed to something else but the sleep problem was so difficult I was lucky to not really notice anything else at least in the scence of the new antidepressants. God forbid that they should make mistakes. They should be encouraged. If your parents are not receptive to counselling, go by yourself. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. now i just have depression wherever i go. Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. All three of us are crippled to think on our own and in deep resentment and depression. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. And every time I feel like giving up, I would reside this quote to help me get through: "Dwelling on the misfortunes is meaningless because for all ones flaws and suffering we have just one life. Those whose characteristics are different from the parents' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order. It's also about enjoying the process. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. I dont want to blame anyone for the life I have." i have no time to relax. Things got progressively worse as years went by and I got siblings. At some camp I started telling jokes one afternoon and I drew people in for hours. , my mum used to and still criticises her weight even though she looked fine, I dont know if that caused me to be extremely uncomfortable with gaining any weight. Sleep Deprivation, Behavior, And Academic Performance, I Caught my Child Smoking Marijuana (Pot) Again, Caring For Elderly Parents At Home: How To Cope. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. My dad never molested me. Correction and discipline are not meant to demoralize children and to make them feel less than what they are. Well, some individuals have goals and aspirations which are dramatically different and rare. I do everything my homework I go to tutoring, I even prepare to exam that is gonna be 4 years later! This is wrong as each child is unique. You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. But them telling me that everyday is enough to ruin my day. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. that "I'm grown up now and can start being your own person." Those who criticize their diametrically different children's innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children's innermost psychological core. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 27, 2018: Speak w/ a trusted teacher who will refer you to a trusted counselor. But an under-achiever. You don't need "family" like this. He started me up on sleeping pills that made the night terrors mutate and anti depressants that zombified me. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. I 've enjoyed this reading, nos I'am 60 years old, I lived difficult times when I was a child, fue this, I could not to be married, now I feel that need father's Love, I feel better when older men give me his friendchip. Say so. You contact their professors, because you didn't like a grade/want to ask for clarification on an assignment/want to ask for an absence to be excused/want to ask for an extension on an assignment due date. If you want to tell them how you feel but cant do it in a conversation, write it in a note. What should I do? Often, the comparison does the opposite. Parents try to discipline children for their own good. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes. This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. Here are the ten things parents do that can destroy their children's self-esteem. I literally cry when I see ppl who aren't better than me sing and claim they are but I can't talk back because I've never sang and I'm shy. Does she think we're stupid and don't know anything!" Your official late-to-the-game guide to K-Pop, Taylor Swift made an appearance at The 1975's concert that has us quaking, TikTok fashion trends you should look out for this winter, 4 things your period *definitely* won't stop you from doing, 4 ways to feel better when you have a cold, Your guide to creating the ultimate long-distance relationship playlist, How to tell if you're crushing on your girl BFF, The perfect to-go cups to keep your drink warm, WIN! At least that what my family says. Some apply corrective or disciplinary methods that can verge on emotional or verbal abuse which damage their children's self-esteem. Always try things(beneficial) that are..UNKNOWN! Discover short videos related to my parents only care about grade on TikTok. The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. really, a lot of things are wrong with me because of my parents. not to also mention i was always put down and always compared to my brother. Maybe is because Im from a hispanic culture, but to me, parents are the absolute law. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). Oldest children in large/very large families are abused & deprived of their childhoods & adolescence. I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. I thought they were going to kill me. They are toxic, even evil. We are right back to where we started. I know school can be difficult and you will mess up quite a few times. Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. Adults are just perverts to kids. Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. Discuss her concerns w/her. Also suggest that she speaks to a psychologist, clergyperson, or counselor. I've always been drawn to acting or maybe comedy, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd make a good bad guy. When she found out of course, she sent me to a therapist who didnt even help. Reinforce positive behavior and lift your child up when they do something well. They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. I should be homeless, rather dead because I wouldn't pan handle I'd just wander off in the woods. On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. For examle, exams are coming up and right now I have a 88% average in science and I want it to be a 90% at least but my mom is making me stress even more and my dad doesn't even ask or he would too. They're gonna make more money than me." I get a 96 she gets mad at me. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . I sing and do it very well. It took me until my mother died to experience detachment and my awakening journey, Too many traumas due to lack of healthy parental guidance and dysfunctional interaction and minimum tlc but I focus on what I can do now and creativity is my saviour, its like i don't know my mom anymore every little thing i do comes with some type of backlash, and I'm always being compared to someone and i think to my self "but I'm not them and they are not your child". Imagine a league of kids with low self confidence. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to me. The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children. They contend that following the consensus offers a sense of belonging and security. Conversely, many parents of C students believe that their kids are less than apt and intelligent, telling them to aspire lower as they are not ever going to be successful. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. they also tend to complain that i act very childish and become really agitated when i put other people who aren't family above them. Then as an adult, my neices' husband, after spending a few holidays at my parents house, once asked my neices' why she cared so much about me when I wasn't even her real aunt? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 25, 2018: Follow YOUR dreams, your mother is a soul destroying person. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. Also develop self-confidence, you are a beautiful, worthy person- a child of God. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2018: Mike, discuss your issue w/a trusted guidance counselor, relative, or a clergyperson. I'm 34 and have literally just developed a sense of real control over my thoughts and feelings, to help guide myself from this point onwards. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? They insist that it is safest to conform to the prevailing philosophy and strongly discourage their children's individualism and nonconformity because they think that if their children refuse to conform to the prevailing groupthink, they will be considered oddballs or worse, be ostracized and left alone, or the parents themselves will be ostracized and denigrated by their neighbors and associates.
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my parents only care about my grades